The Rules
by dreemun
Summary: Reader: Beware! This could happen to you. Writer... it is already too late. What a pity!...


' ; , . , ; ' ; , . Nothing in the Labyrinth's universe is mine. That's not  
fair... but that's just the way it is! . , ; ' ; , . , ; '  
  
******************************* THE RULES *******************************  
  
********************************  
  
"The Goblin King sat on his throne, distractedly playing with one of his sempiternel crystals, his asymmetrical gaze lost in it's multiple shiny reflections... thinking hard. He needed something. Or someone, more likely. Now, now that this all was over, he had to get somebody.  
  
Anybody.  
  
Or it would be the end.  
  
How could the King of Dreams survive, without someone dreaming of him? People couldn't imagine how such a vampiric kind of life could be difficult! ...And however, "someone" is still only "one". What a pale figure he was to become... What a pity.  
  
Then it came to him.  
  
With a little help, a little help that he, Lord of Imagination, could so easily offer...  
  
... "one" could become much, much more than one..."  
  
********************************  
  
Everything is set and ready. One only has to raise hands over the keyboard, and start typing.  
  
Wondrous feeling of power, freedom, almightiness... What is going to happen to "them"... the characters?  
  
You sit comfortably and think.  
  
What about an apocalyptic, bright start: great, never-seen-before events in the Underground goblin world? Or a terrible experience in Sarah's life, she needs help and gets back into the Labyrinth... Classical, but not out of fashion, yet. It always works. So many possibilities...  
  
"First she d'have to manage to get back in, it seems."  
  
You jump out of your skin, turn around.  
  
And of course, sure enough, here he stands; black gloves, night-shaded cape, pale face, mismatched eyes, amused half smile.  
  
Find back your voice, for a start. Then, ask.  
  
"Just... what... what on earth are you...?"  
  
Certainly the most stupid question in your life. He does not even bother answering.  
  
"I... I mean... what are you doing here?"  
  
His smile widens while the eyes narrow. He titles his hairy head sideways.  
  
"I thought that would seem obvious... Ain't I right to feel concerned?  
  
_ Well, uh...  
  
_ You write, and write, inconsiderately... but don't you realise that all you're writing is supposed to happen -to me?..."  
  
That's total nonsense. You'd better go to sleep or something. You rub your eyes. He is still there, more than ever. And he isn't smiling any more.  
  
This sharp gaze is far more disturbing than on a screen, by the way.  
  
He's adjusting his sleek gloves.  
  
"See, it's quite a responsibility... Are you sure you're willing to bear it? -No, wait. Think before you answer. Remember: what is said, is said."  
  
Hallucinations. You're just having hallucinations... Since when are hallucinations allowed to treat you this offhandedly?  
  
"Well, for all I know, "your highness", *I* only write, *YOU* are bearing all the consequences. What should I worry about, then?"  
  
You would have laughed, but you had certainly forgotten how dangerous his cold glare could be.  
  
"...Rules, my little friend... rules. Your world is full of them, too, I thought you would understand. You can't break them like that... (he snaps his fingers) ...at least, not without encountering certain -consequences.  
  
_ I can't break those of my world, sure. What about yours?  
  
_ Why don't you just try, then?..."  
  
That vampire smile is far worse than any glare.  
  
Turn back to your computer, to be able to think straight.  
  
...Well, why not, after all? It can't fail, and it would be quite funny too. You raise your hands over the keyboard. Your turn to sneer!...  
  
"Right. Let's say... For a start, I think you'll get flattened by a goblin uprising, and that shall make you a little more courteous, what about that? Oh, yes, and... Hoggle is to be elected in your place!"  
  
That freedom feeling again!... You chortle while your fingers run over the letters. But then... then... You lean back and sigh:  
  
"...it makes no sense.  
  
_ No sense at all."  
  
You gasp again and realise how you hate his way to sneak up silently and then speak softly right into one's ear.  
  
Try not to look at that smirk while you press the delete button.  
  
"Oh, right, I was kidding anyway.  
  
_ Were you?..."  
  
He straightens up. Hard to bear his lurking right behind your back. Hard to believe, too!  
  
"...So. What are you planning to do, now?  
  
_ Right at this moment? I'm seriously thinking of a bucket of water. Maybe it would wake me up. Or drown me, if I'm lucky."  
  
You know you shouldn't, but you couldn't hold that. That's just too much. Let it all stop. Let it all be a bad joke. A dream...  
  
-But it IS a dream.-  
  
"If I can be of any help in that way, just tell me.  
  
_ Thanks a lot."  
  
Don't.  
  
Just don't imagine his expression.  
  
Don't mind his gaze behind your shoulder.  
  
Ignore him.  
  
Ignore it all.  
  
You're bound to wake up soon.  
  
Try to think about that damned story you're struggling to make, instead.  
  
So.  
  
A terrible event in the goblin world... what? A fire? An earthquake? Something magic? Fire, or lightenings? Something frightening...- HOW COMES YOU KNOW HE IS GRINNING AGAIN?  
  
"Just... Get - out - of - my - head - right - now!  
  
_ How could I?... You're thinking of me. (he points at you) Deliberately."  
  
Unbelievable. He looks sincerely offended!  
  
One couldn't answer anything to such nonsense. You just gape at him.  
  
"...if you want me to go, very well, then, just write your story without me.  
  
_ ...Without you?  
  
_ Without using me."  
  
He's insane. And proud to be, by the looks of it.  
  
"You want me to write a story without characters. That's what you're saying."  
  
An eyebrow raises over one of the singular eyes.  
  
"Unless you see any other way to write about something without thinking of it.  
  
_ That's just stupid.  
  
_ It most certainly is..."  
  
He is making fun of you. You can't let him do that. But he looks dreadfully serious...  
  
What is his interest in staying here anyway?  
  
"It really seems like you won't listen to me, or maybe you just can't understand..."  
  
For an instant amusement plays across his face again, then he brusquely turns away and starts pacing up and down, his cape bellowing behind him, totally out of place in the room.  
  
"Rules again, little one, there is nothing to understand. That's just how things shall be done..."  
  
He stops as abruptly as he started and glares once more.  
  
"Or they shall not be done at all."  
  
"Ah-Hem... If I daresay, your Honour, I'm afraid his Majesty is right..."  
  
You shouldn't have turned around after jumping, but that's too late, now, you saw him.  
  
Sir Didymus is sitting right on the edge of the desk, his plumed hat proudly fitted on the top of his head as he nods vigorously.  
  
"...that's the way things have to be done."  
  
This is all turning into an invasion.  
  
And if that king-size feather-duster calls you "little" something again, you don't respond of your self-control any more...  
  
Without realising that you've gotten on your feet, you recede slightly, looking from one to another...feeling trapped.  
  
"That... That's... It's not- I mean-"  
  
Too late. A triumphant grin curls his mouth.  
  
"...yes?"  
  
He leans forward.  
  
"...not fair?"  
  
"...Right... right. OK."  
  
Try not to think of how stupid you must look, talking and backing away alone in the room. Anyone else, for sure, would see it's empty. You close your eyes tight, open them again.  
  
Damn.  
  
"...I'll listen to you. What is it you want of me?  
  
_ You must be kidding, I suppose."  
  
I've never been as far from kidding as right now, you overgrown firey- head.  
  
Says your brain.  
  
"Er..."  
  
Says your mouth.  
  
Hurray for your mouth.  
  
"Ha! How's that for brain power?"  
  
He isn't highly noticeable, asleep in his shadowy corner. But his now jabbering hat, indeed, is. It is now declaiming in mock schoolboy tones:  
  
_ "Fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave"... That's not so difficult! ...You really should brush up your classics."  
  
It nods toward the books and videos on your shelves.  
  
You're rubbing your forehead, now. Going to sleep is getting more and more tempting, but is it worth the risk of seeing what you might see if you turned around to reach the door?  
  
"Hallo! I'm just a worm, but I heard some noise and I thought... Might I join in?"  
  
Yes, now that you think about it, you would certainly meet a talking knocker or something. You'd better spare your energy, especially when resignation is getting this alarmingly closer.  
  
Concentrate on him, instead.  
  
Maybe it would still be possible to gather enough pluck to wipe that expression off his face? Quite tempting too...  
  
"...Well then. Good. Very good. I tell you what. Right now all I really wish is to end up all this rubbish and be left in peace. So, there: tell me what you want, tell me what you expect from me. Then we can sort this out, and you all pack and get los- ...I mean, go.  
  
_ Now, that's more like it. I'm glad we got a deal this quickly."  
  
A sparkling crystal comes swirling across his fingers.  
  
"Hey! Wait! ...What deal? I heard no conditions being set. And anyway I didn't promise or swear anything, I-"  
  
The shining orb freezes in mid-air. He leans slightly again, stony faced.  
  
"My ears must have been deceiving me. Didn't I hear "I wish"?  
  
_ But... I didn't..."  
  
Smart move, pea-brain.  
  
Really.  
  
How can one be this stupid!  
  
The crystal resumes its dance, swiftly swinging from hand to hand.  
  
"It seems to me that it's about time you performed your part, by the way."  
  
This is silly. But since you got yourself in that jam, you might as well try to get along with it and get rid of it as fast as possible...  
  
You sit back at your computer, a little stiffly. No use to try to be civil to him. And anyway you don't feel like trying, let's face it.  
  
"Okay. Go on. Speak. I'll type whatever you say. I'll even post it for you, if Your Highness feels like it."  
  
How can a single laugh be this chilling?  
  
But that's nothing compared to the aggravating, contemptuous smirk he affects, shaking his head no without leaving your eyes. Still, you're no trembling misbehaving goblin of his, and you return him his glare; lacking the hint of amusement, that is.  
  
"...That would be way too easy, don't you think?  
  
_ Well, I'm not this sure. But if you have any better idea, I'm listening.  
  
_ Beware. I could get *any* idea... Fortunately I'm in no mood for kidding and I haven't got all day."  
  
*He* hasn't got all day. Of all the people to say it in this room. Splendid.  
  
"You see, I'm just the character. You are the writer. You cannot invent anything. I don't have to. I just live. You just write."  
  
The crystal carries on it's spinning dance, gaining speed, slightly mesmerizing.  
  
"...What do you mean?  
  
_ That's not so hard. Let yourself go... follow the track... see... dream... believe... give me life, and be my faithful biographer... -then, make others see, dream and believe, maybe even write in their turn?..."  
  
The surge of pride is long to come, but it finally does. About time, though. The surroundings were starting to fade.  
  
First priority: tear your gaze away from the moving reflections. Then, scowl as convincingly as possible while you're trying to focus.  
  
"No way!... I'm no faithful whatsit, pet-journalist or anything... what do you think you're asking! I've had enough, anyway. I don't care what you could well do in your god-forsaken castle and I don't even care any more what people may write about it. I'm tired. I'm going to sleep, now. Goodbye."  
  
That's true.  
  
You're feeling incredibly drowsy. In fact, even standing up is a hazardous undertaking, now. It even seems like you're squinting a bit... there didn't use to be two doors, did it? But those dog-headed people hiding behind wooden shields look vaguely familiar, though you can't recall where you first saw them...  
  
In fact, it's lucky he speaks again: it gives you an excuse to turn back without making a fool of yourself.  
  
He sighs.  
  
"I must say that some have been more reasonable than you are.  
  
_ "some"? What ...  
  
_ ...But then again, you're not the first one to play up, of course...  
  
_ What, "first"? First what?  
  
_ Oh? I thought you didn't care..."  
  
One hand still plays casually with the gleaming bowl.  
  
"But never mind. If you're not going to play by the Rules, so be it. I can be lenient... (he simpers shrewdly)  
  
However, I've got a much better plan.  
  
_ What "plan"-"  
  
The sly twinkle in the eyes should have warned you. But he was too swift and you had no time to think.  
  
"Catch."  
  
As your fingers mechanically close around the cold tiny orb, it feels like they don't stop it from dropping. Far from it.  
  
It's rather you who get dragged in its fall -faster and faster...  
  
********************************  
  
How stupid, really! Falling asleep right in front of your computer...  
  
Now then, where were we?  
  
Ah, yes... The Labyrinth. Good, let's go...  
  
Pages after pages come out. That's so pleasant, when you are inspired: your fingers just fly over the keyboard!  
  
Funny: you could swear remembering being quite short on ideas, when first starting... that's not so hard, though. One just has to let the images come, and it's like you had just seen them, like in a dream.  
  
You frown. You don't remember dreaming, while you were asleep.  
  
Then you frown again. What for a question is this... who cares?  
  
'Better go on happily. Soon, you will be posting your fic.  
  
You wonder how many people will read it?  
  
Much more than one.  
  
Lots, hopefully.  
  
********************************  
  
There you are!... And don't say I didn't warn you, if you are still willing to write Labyrinth fics (which I sure hope!). If you are not, and especially if you give me a little something (I'm not asking much, plastic will do perfectly), I can lead you back to the main page of the site! ^_^  
  
Now, as you might have noticed (but I hope it wasn't TOO noticeable...), English isn't my first language. So if you see any mistakes, please don't throw me into the bog! Tell me, and I promise I'll -er, try to correct them...  
  
For Jareththgirl 1987:  
  
His Majesty thanks you for taking part, by your reading, to the making of the story. He also wants me to communicate you his order of going on reading stories about him, many if possible, written by any author you can find. ^_^  
  
As for me, I thank you S-O-O-O much for your very encouraging review. It is so rewarding, even plastic isn't worth that! (bows to the ground)  
  
For belladona:  
  
And another truck of big nice thanks for you too, there you go. Well, it is reassuring to see I didn't write something unintelligible! I kept wondering if the word "sempiternel" did exist, for my computer didn't know it... Apparently, you did. Phew °_° ! 


End file.
